episode 48: blood, herbert, and the fabulous undercity
session date: 8/20/26
world date: 6033 - 30th of Visios in Fervent Veiltide
the Breakfast Puppies:
- Latriné (Level 2 Acolyte of Death's Second Daughter)
- Pepin "Pip" Proteus (Level 1 Imperial Scientist)
- Rikki Ward (Level 4 Acrobat)
- Vasilissa Lueltar (Level 2 Drow)
- Rusht Al-Qah (Level 1 Aelv of the Yellow Wastes)
after nearly three months of sessions in the Incandescent Grottoes, investigating the cult of the Faceless Lord, the Puppies have successfully rescued the Prismist, Marjoram Gryver, and her husband, Merriband, and returned them secretly to Beef-Town. they have just left Tabitha-Tabitha — infamous Cemetarian serial killer, Black Winds cultist, and Latriné's daughter — on the road north, with her offer from Beef-Town's resident deep freak wizard, Octo of Ogg, ringing in their ears. 2000 gold to the Shrike or 6000 gold to Octo for delivery of the Prismist?
back in their room, legless Jimmy listens to the reunited Marj and Merri gush to one another in enthusiastic, breathless info-dumping and scientific theorizing. says Marjoram: if the ooze cult's legendry happens to be true, perhaps they do have Few-Shun batteries somewhere down there. maybe they did make contact with an orbital entity. says Merriband: if we can successfully build the Mechanical Prismist, think of the possibilities for biomic transformation! we're talking genuine terraforming! now, certainly, we've said much about the prospect of weakening one of the empire's colonial pillars by reducing the City States' reliance on anthro-prismatism — but think about what happens if we can deliver agricultural autonomy!
meanwhile, much discussion ensues amongst the party, as Mom is somewhat cagey, insisting that an audience with the Shrike will only be granted if Marjoram is delivered in person. at the Aelv's urging, the party decides (with extreme reluctance) to visit Octo of Ogg and hear him out. it goes much the way all feared, beginning with the group getting literally pissed on from his half-tower's balcony. in the meeting, he threatens, mocks, humiliates, belittles, etc., flanked by hooded figures levelling enigmatic tube-like weaponry, each with an extra joint in their fingers. the mention of Tabitha-Tabitha in his employ disrupts Latriné's usual performance of clownish, accented bravado and he turns cold. Pip is freaking out. Octo has the door slam shut and lock with a snap. he calls them dumbfucks, infants, little babies, the usual. Octo wants the Prismist, says he knows they have her, offers 10,000 gold, then says go ahead name a figure! work for me! cajoles, invites, etices. but when the party waffles, he simply unlocks the door and lets them leave... seemingly accepting their refusal on moral grounds.
they come away even more uncertain as to Octo's motivations and doubting the veracity of his various claims. does he know they have the Prismist? is he watching them? or, is he bluffing? if he's watching - how? what does he know exactly? if he wants her so badly, why does he let them waltz out? perturbed, the party decides to try knocking on the Shrike's chrome villa, to no avail, earning them only further mockery hurled from Octo as he looks on. Pip takes a circuitous route back to Mom's in a panic and all make efforts to evade pursuit, but Octo can be sighted the entire time, leaning quietly on his balcony.
at this point, the group capitulates and with Marjoram's approval, they bring her to Mom, who Phantasmal Forces the room to obscure the party's passage, leading them through a hitherto unknown trapdoor, down a long, narrow flight of stone stairs, past storage cellars, deeper and deeper - ending at a blank room. Mom raps on the wall, a pivot, a swivel, and out comes:
a woman dressed head to toe in black leathers, every inch of her body covered, wearing a Leather-Basic mask over top. the party immediately notes that this looks suspiciously like the Shrike minus her resplendent whitesteel plate and signature Butcher Bird Mask... however, their attention is swiftly diverted by the two-legged automaton clanking into the room behind her. a little worse for the wear perhaps, bristling with head-mounted alien weaponry, his vid-screens nevertheless display flashing/guttering smiley emoticons as he greets them in an indefatigably cheerful synthesized voice:
Hi, I’m Herbert here with your custom lingua corporis sitrep, Commander: Human Casualties 92%. Fallout drift routes North by Northeast. Geological disturbances due to core mining operation likely to result in imminent destruction of remaining essential infrastructure. Day 9763 of no communique from satellite relay system. The city is currently on fire! Remember pray for us. Stand-by for all feeds L-Code Sitrep burst. Thank you SO much for listening.
whereupon, the gimp-coded woman, with -- if i may editorialize -- the enthusiastic demeanor of an asexual, lesbian Austin Powers, introduces herself in beaming voice: hi, i'm Blood! nice to meet ya! are you ready to have yer mind fuckin' blown? after which, she leads them into the formerly unknown Undercity, through a minor maze of ceramisteel bulkhead walls and to the under-tavern of the Friends of the Cat*...
*cats are not real